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Home - The Chronicles - The Cheesemaker The Cheesemaker - NewLatest update: 15th May 2026 In which Gilbert Murray, breeder of Great Danes and innovative and eccentric cheesemaker, is contacted by a "diplomatic delivery agent" (or a bank manager - he seems to be unsure which) who claims to be in possession of a package containing 3.5 million dollars that the US government inexplicably wants to give to him. With Gilbert keen to resurrect his great-great-grandfather's rather unusual cheesemaking business, the money would come in very handy indeed. But when Gilbert ends up in hospital after a skiing accident, will his new "dairymaid", Beaker, be able to bring things to a satisfactory conclusion? And - more importantly - will Beaker be able to continue making cheeses to Gilbert's exacting standards? Anyone for a piece of Great Danish Blue? It goes beautifully on a cracker... provided you pick out the dog hairs first. Cast of characters
From: Robinson Lolpold To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Attention Dear Beneficiary Gilbert Murray Sent: Sun, 15 Mar 2026 23:28 This is Ms Lili Reinhart from DHL company (DHLC). We have been waiting for you to contact us for your package that was deposited with us By UN Office for shipment to your residential address. However, your Consignment Box and after scanning it contains the value amount of $3.5 Million USD compensation fund. So kindly get in touch with us asap with your requested information which will be used to register your package for immediate dispatch and also to be sure that we are in contact with the rightful owner of this Consignment Box.
Yours Sincerely, Mr Robinson Lolpold from the DHL company From: Gilbert Murray To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: Re: Attention Dear Beneficiary Gilbert Murray Sent: Thu, 26 Mar 2026 09:55 Dear Ms Reinhart/Mr Lolpold, Apologies for the delay in responding to the email that you sent me last week. For some reason it ended up in my Spam folder and I have only just seen it. Could you please explain what this is all about? Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Robinson Lolpold To: Gilbert Murray Subject: READ CAREFULLY... SO THAT YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR WINNING MONEY IS IN OUR OFFICE... WE ALL ARE WAITING FOR YOUR PROPERLY UNDERSTANDING Sent: Sat, 28 Mar 2026 18:02 Okay Dear Gilbert Murray, Thank you for your email. Am Mr Robinson Lolpold from United States, Am A Diplomatic Delivery Agent That Has Your Own Winning Funds So And I Base in United Kingdom Working Under Courier Delivery Shipping Company, United States Government Is Been Awarding And Compensating The Lucky People's Who's There Email is Listed By The USA Government To Make Sure They Got There Winning Compensation Funds Worth Just Sum Of $3.5 Million United States Dollars in Your Name So We have been waiting for you to contact us for your package that was deposited with us By UN Office for shipment to your residential address. However, Your Consignment Box and after scanning it contains the value amount of US $3.5 Million USD compensation fund, So kindly get in touch with us asap with your requested information which will be used to register your package for immediate dispatch and also to be sure that we are in contact with the rightful owner of this Consignment Box.
Yours Sincerely, Mr Robinson Lolpold from the DHL company From: Gilbert Murray To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: Are you sure you have got the right person here? Sent: Mon, 30 Mar 2026 08:35 Dear Mr Lolpold, Thank you for getting back to me. I apologise for the delay in responding; I live in a very remote part of Lincolnshire, and my internet connection comes and goes. I must say, I don't understand any of this. You say that the US government wants to give me millions of dollars. Why? Where has this money come from? You have described it as "winnings" and as a "compensation fund". But if it is winnings, what it is that I have won? And if it is a compensation fund, what am I being compensated for? I can't deny that the money would come in extremely handy - I am in the process of attempting to resurrect my great-great-grandfather's cheesemaking business, and the funds would be very useful indeed - but given that I know nothing about any of this, I can't help but wonder whether you have contacted the right person here. Have you contacted me by mistake? Is it another Mr Murray you should have got in touch with? Murray is a very common name around here. I often get post delivered to me that is meant for another Murray, and vice-versa. Or at least I used to, until our postman went missing last year. Postal deliveries have been few and far between since then. If you give me a few more details of the person this money is supposed to be given to - their address, for example, I may be able to point you in the direction of the right person. I would be happy to help. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Robinson Lolpold To: Gilbert Murray Subject: YES Sent: Mon, 30 Mar 2026 20:43 Dear friend Gilbert Murray, If you ain't interested and don't know your worth and the purpose of USA Government to offer a compensation funds over in your name you are here asking me a lot questions. If you are not interested or capable to claim this funds. Kindly Go Straight To The Point. Let Us Do And Cancel This Winning Payment Compensation Funds immediately. Because We Don't Have Much Time To Delayed People's Delivering. So Get Back To Us Asap To Know if The Funds Will CANCEL OR The Delivery Will Get On hold. Thanks. Sincerely Appreciate Your Kind Gesture Responded Back. Mr Robinson Lolpold   From: Gilbert Murray To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: To be frank, I found your last email very rude Sent: Tue, 31 Mar 2026 08:56 Mr Lolpold, I have just read the email you sent me last night. To be frank, sir, I found it to be very rude. Of course I have questions for you. It's not every day that a complete stranger contacts you and tells you that the US government wants to give you 3.5 million dollars. It is perfectly natural that I should want to know the reason why they want to give me this money. You hear about all sorts of dodgy things happening nowadays - money-laundering, that kind of thing. I am a respectable cheesemaker, and I want to make sure that I am not getting myself involved in anything that could potentially tarnish my reputation. Let us indeed get straight to the point: you explain to me exactly why the US government wants to make a gift of 3.5 million dollars to me - as I politely requested - then we can take it from there. Gilbert Murray PS. Why did you send me a picture of what looks to be a half-completed cheque, from someone called Linda, made out for an amount of $6,500? What has that got to do with anything? From: Robinson Lolpold To: Gilbert Murray Subject: WELL I APOLOGISE FOR BEING RUDE TO MY PREVIOUS EMAIL AM SO SORRY Sent: Wed, 01 Apr 2026 02:21 Thank you Dear Friend Gilbert Murray. Am Mr Robinson Lolpold from Chase Bank Of America As You Can Seen My Email Name. Am An International Delivery Diplomatic Agent Officer Here And Also Manager Of Chase Bank. WELL I APOLOGISE FOR BEING RUDE TO MY PREVIOUS EMAIL AM SO SORRY. It's Very Obviously That You Have The Full Right Obligation To Asked And Know Why And Where The Winning Payment Compensation Funds Comes From, in That Case it's Also Sound True That You Haven't Gotten Any Winning Payment Funds From Anyone Else For Anywhere. That Also Gives Us Full Privilege To Go Ahead And Continue Responding Back On Your Email. To inform You Earlier That This Compensation Winning Payment Comes From United States Under (IMF) International Monetary Funds, So I Mr Robinson Lolpold Is Given You Full Guaranteed And Assurance That This Funds Doesn't Related To Any Money-Laundering For Your information. And in The Check I Sent To You Mentioned By Mrs Linda Which Amount on The Check queue is $6,500 is for you to fill your name in the cheque so you can cash out the cheque and being withdrawing $6,500 every per week until the total amount of your $3.5 Million Winning Payment Compensation is Done Withdraw. So that is all For Now and again if there is any way I sound Rude in my previous email please Pardon My Manners And Kindly Be Honest Ready To Claimed What Belongs on Your Name, Because As An International Diplomatic officer I am I Don't Have Much More Time To Waist Or Delayed People's Delivering And I Am Always Busy Man, So Please if you have Any More Questions Please Don't Hesitate To do asked and don't forget to get back to us here with your details information such as below as our file form demanded for security purposes.
Thank you once again and God Bless You As We All Awaiting To Hear From You With Your Respond Back Email. Sincerely Regards, MR ROBINSON LOLPOLD CHASE BANK MANAGER From: Gilbert Murray To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: My details, as requested Sent: Wed, 01 Apr 2026 13:03 Dear Mr Lolpold, Thank you for your apology. I am happy to accept it. Having re-read your last email, I wonder whether I may have misinterpreted your brisk, businesslike manner as rudeness when no rudeness was actually intended. If so, then I too apologise. There. Now we have both apologised. Thank you also for explaining everything in such a clear, eloquent manner. I am still not quite sure who Linda is, but now that I know that there is nothing remotely dodgy involved in this business, I am happy to move forward. Firstly, here are my details as requested:
You say that you are both a diplomatic delivery agent, working for DHL, and a bank manager, working for Chase Bank? My, what a busy fellow you must be. That would perhaps explain why you sent your last email to me at two o'clock in the morning: you must surely struggle to find enough hours in the day. Well, kindly put your DHL delivery driver hat on, and make arrangements for my parcel to be delivered to me as soon as possible, at the above address. It is worth noting that I will be away over the Easter break, leaving this Friday and returning on Thursday 9th April. During that time, I will not be available to respond to your emails, or to receive the package. Could you therefore please arrange for it to be delivered one day during the week commencing Monday 13th April? That would be ideal for me. I have a busy day ahead of me: I have just taken on a new assistant, who is due to arrive in about an hour. I need to show him this afternoon how to clean out the kennels, feed and milk the Great Danes, and cut the curd in the latest batch of cheese. I then need to give him an overview of the entire cheesemaking process. There is a lot for him to learn in a very short space of time if he is to be able to look after the place while I am away. My last dairymaid walked out a few days ago after discovering that she had contracted rabies from the frequent bites that are an inevitable part of the job - Great Danes are a bit of a touchy breed and they do not always like being milked. I am hoping that my new assistant will be a good fit for the job: without a dairymaid to help me, I am struggling to keep on top of everything that needs doing around here. What with you holding down two jobs, you must know the feeling. Anyway, please get back to me with a suggested date for the delivery of my package. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Robinson Lolpold To: Gilbert Murray Subject: PROVIDE YOUR GOVERNMENT ID WITH YOUR CALLING AND WHATSAPP NUMBER FOR OUR FAST PROCESS Sent: Thu, 02 Apr 2026 03:14 Thank you for your reply My Friend Gilbert Arnold Murray. For Your Information Provided For The Delivery Of Your Parcel To Be Fully Registered in Our Delivery File Documents. The Delivery Will Probably Proceed First Thing Tomorrow Friday Morning And Definitely Arrived on Tuesday Morning Being 7th April. Once Again My Dear Friend Gilbert Murray, You Have To Send Us Your Calling Phone Number Also Your WhatsApp Number, To Help Our Delivery So That As Immediately The Delivery Arrived, I Will Do Gives You A Call So Provide Us Your WhatsApp Number is important with your identity ID Card photo. Once Again On Your Next Respond, After Getting Us Your Number We Will Register Your Delivery Parcel On Procedure. And We Will Send You The Delivery Tracking Number On Your Number. I Will Also Forward You Your Ownership Delivery Documents, After Providing Us Your WhatsApp Number On Your Next Email Okay. So please provide us below information that holding the delivery so that we will do arrange for the delivery to dispatch Asap.
As soon As I got the complete requirements I will immediately do and provided you all the necessary information about my id and also sending you the delivery tracking number which you be used to monitor your parcel and know time of arrival, Also I Will Send You All Documents That Guide This Payment Funds, Okay After This Nothing More Is Gonna Hold Up Your Funds. I am a busy person, so whenever you got my email doesn't mean it's was sent at the particular time, sometimes it's delay by the network provider. So I look forward to hear from you, Because As For The Delivery Shipment Charges it's Has Nothing To Do With The Beneficiary Already Paid By (IMF) international monetary Funds. Thanks For Your Understanding And Knowledge, I Promise You Will Not Regret Knowing Me, Because Am a Christian person, So I Always Tried My Best To Get My Work Done As Much As The Beneficiary is Active. Sincerely Regards, Mr Robinson Lolpold GOD BLESS YOU From: Gilbert Murray To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: My remaining details Sent: Thu, 02 Apr 2026 09:52 Dear Mr Lolpold, Firstly, please re-read my last email. In it, I clearly stated that I did not want my package to be delivered until the week commencing Monday 13th April. Please do not attempt to deliver the package before that date: I will not be here, as I will be away from the end of today until Thursday 9th April. Given that the package contains such a large amount of money, I wish to be here in person when it is delivered. Incidentally, you said that the package contains my cash. Why then, did you tell me that I should cash a cheque each week to get $6,500 from this Linda person, whoever she is? I am confused. Please explain. Now, you asked for my WhatsApp number. I do not own a mobile telephone, so I do not use WhatsApp. Have you any idea of the harm those devices can cause with the radiation they give out, my dear fellow? You should look it up. Trust me, once you have read about the risks they pose to your health, you will want to throw away your own mobile phone. We're on the brink of a public health disaster if you ask me, and it's all thanks to widespread mobile phone usage. You also asked for a copy of my ID card. As you should know, being based in the UK, we do not have ID cards in this country. I do have a driving licence, which we often use in this country to prove our identity. Would it help if I sent you my driving licence number? I must go: I have a very busy day ahead of me before I leave to go on holiday tonight. When my new assistant, Beaker, arrives for work today, I have to finish showing him the ropes so that he can look after the place while I am away. I do hope he has cleaned up his act a bit. When he turned up for work yesterday, it was immediately apparent that his personal hygiene left a lot to be desired. His fingernails were shocking, he smelt as if he hadn't washed for a month, and his breath was worse than that of my Great Dane bitches. And that's saying something. Cleanliness is of the utmost importance in a dairy, and such poor hygiene just will not do. I will be most disappointed if I do not see a marked improvement from him today. As I mentioned yesterday, I will be away from the end of today until Thursday 9th April. Like you, I am a busy man. I will have to pause this business until that date. I apologise if that causes you any inconvenience. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Robinson Lolpold To: Gilbert Murray Subject: CONFIRMED OUR DELIVERY DATE 13th AND ARRIVED ON 14th Sent: Thu, 02 Apr 2026 17:36 Okay My Dear Friend Gilbert Murray!!!!!! I Have Re Read Your Email And Well Understood Your Main Point. I am Going To Make It Official To Our Office Team that your package is going to deliver to your destination country in UK on 14th April Being On Tuesday Morning By 10:45 AM Your Funds Will Definitely Delivered To Your Residential Home Address... if That Will Suit You... It's Fine By Us. Once More We Still in Need Of Any Valid Government ID Or Passport, Or Driving Licence photos, So Do Send Us Any if You Had. Again You Have To Try Do Send Us Your WhatsApp Number And Also Your Calling Phone Number For Our Security purposes And To Also Help Us Communicate With You Faster So please is Really Important Okay, As Much As You Do Trust This Process Do Not Look Back Because Am Honest And Sincere Man, And I Will Probably Sending You Your Ownership Delivery Documents And Your Delivery Tracking Number For You To Monitor And Know Time Of My Arrival, Okay So is Very Important To Do A Very Good Job... at The End, Okay. Your Compensation Funds Will Do Get To You Through Two Options:
Total Amount on The Compensation Worth Only ($3.5 Million Dollars) ONLY And That is All So You Either Have To Receive ATM Master Card From Us, Or Received Cheque From Us. So The Choice is Yours. Listen To Me Sir We Will Be Patient To Get This Delivery Successfully To You On Due Dates Being 14th As You Earlier Said You Will Be At Home on 13th So Expect Your Funds Arrival On 14th In The Morning, So Please Keep Your eyes on your worker, and do not forget to get back to us with the WhatsApp number and calling number for our fast communication, with your valid government id or driving licence, okay... If we do not hear from you now till 13th we will definitely back off and cancel this payment if we seeing you as uninterested person and also unqualified person to claim your compensation. Thanks And God Bless You. Sincerely Thank You. MR ROBINSON LOLPOLD From: Beaker To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: MR MURRAY HAS FRACTURED HIS PELVIS AND HE ASKED ME TO SORT THINGS OUT WITH YOU Sent: Thu, 09 Apr 2026 12:03 Hello Mr Lolpole, This is not Mr Murray it is me Beaker and I am Mr Murray's new dairymaid even though I am a man not a woman anyway I help Mr Murray out at his dairy and he went skiing last week and he has broken his leg and fractured his pelvis and he is in hospital and he has given me access to his email account and he has told me about this package that you are going to deliver to him and he has told me that it is very important and he has asked me to sort things out with you because he cannot do it because he is in hospital so that is why I am contacting you. I have looked back at the emails that Mr Murray has sent to you and the emails that you have sent to Mr Murray so I have got some idea of what is happening so as I understand it you will be delivering Mr Murray's package to him on the fourteenth of April and that is OK because even though Mr Murray will still be in hospital by then I will be here so I can sign for the package so we should be OK to carry on with things as you and Mr Murray have planned them. I will be going to visit Mr Murray in hospital this evening when I have finished all my work at the dairy so please get back to me as soon as you can to confirm that you will be delivering Mr Murray's package on the fourteenth so that I can pass on the message to Mr Murray. I have got to go now because there is so much work to do at the dairy and it is just me doing it all and I only started work at the dairy last week so I am still learning and I am having to do my best only sometimes I don't really know what I am doing and things go wrong but I think it will all work out alright in the end because I am an optimist and that is someone who always looks on the bright side of things even if the great danes keep biting me when I try to milk them which is not very nice and I think I got a little bit of dog mess in the batch of cheese that I started making yesterday because there is so much to do here in the dairy and it is all very new to me and it is hard to keep everything clean and I am not finding it easy and things got on top of me a bit but I think I managed to get most of it out and I am hoping that it will be alright and you probably won't be able to taste it anyway when the cheese is finished. Thanking you, Beaker From: Beaker To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: PLEASE GET BACK TO ME BECAUSE MR MURRAY IS WAITING TO HEAR ABOUT HIS PACKAGE Sent: Fri, 10 Apr 2026 08:54 Hello Mr Lolpole, This is not Mr Murray it is me Beaker again and I am writing to you because you did not get back to me yesterday when I asked you about Mr Murray's package and so when I went to see Mr Murray in the hospital last night and he asked me what was going on I could not tell him anything because you had not told me anything and he was very annoyed and he called me some very nasty names that I will not repeat here but I think that is the strong painkillers he is on that is making him like that. Anyway Mr Murray told me to email you again today and tell you to get back to me with an update on what is going on with his package because he wants to know if it will be delivered next week so can you please do that? I will be going to see Mr Murray in the hospital again tonight when I have finished in the dairy so if you can get back to me today I will be able to let Mr Murray know what is happening when I see him later. Thanking you, Beaker From: Robinson Lolpold To: Beaker Subject: GET BACK TO US MR BEAKER Sent: Fri, 10 Apr 2026 10:24 Thank You For Your Email And I Already Read and Understand Your Point That Mr Murray, instructed You To Message Me Consign His Package. Well the delivery of his package will definitely fit to his residence home address on the 14th of April this month. So we the entire office has been waiting for Mr Murray's respond back so that he will do get back to us with his WhatsApp number and also his calling phone number to avoid delaying for security purposes, in that his WhatsApp number I will be forwarding him his delivery tracking Number And His Ownership Certificate Documents Of The Funds ATM MASTER CARD. Also We Will Forward You Your ATM Master Card Pin Code On Your WhatsApp Number Personally For Security Purposes, Because No One Supposed To Has Access On His ATM Pin code, that is reason we definitely needed his number WhatsApp and validate government id. Again it's important to provided us this number and any of his validation identity government id card or any driver licence, okay is really really important to us for our fast and efficient delivery. Once More Before I Forgot Am So Sorry To Hear About Mr Murray's Condition, Please Do Take Care Of Mr Murray's Cheese Dairy Business For Him, Okay We Both Discussed About You Working For Him Before He Travel, And Our Agreement Lines That He Will Be Back on 13th So I Am Well Much Sure His Package Will Probably Get Delivered Successfully To His Destination Address in London, Okay. Do Not Forget To Greet Him For Me, Okay I Think He Is A Good Man, As We Both Conversating. Thanks And God Bless You For Your Good Job And For Your Help. Sincerely Regards, Mr Robinson Lolpold From: Beaker To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: I WILL PASS ON YOUR MESSAGE TO MR MURRAY Sent: Fri, 10 Apr 2026 14:58 Hello Mr Lolpole, This is not Mr Murray it is me Beaker again and thank you for getting back to me. I will pass on your message to Mr Murray when I go to see him in hospital tonight when I have finished all the work in the dairy. I think there might a problem though because you have asked for Mr Murray's WhatsApp number and I do not think that Mr Murray has a WhatsApp number because he does not have a mobile phone because he is the same as me in that he thinks they are dangerous what with the radiation they give off and everything so he will not be able to give you a WhatsApp number because he does not have one so I think you might have to send him the information by email and if you do that then I can pass it on to him while he is in hospital. Also you mentioned delivering Mr Murray's package to his address in London but Mr Murray does not live in London he lives here in Lincolnshire like I do so please check that you have got Mr Murray's address right because I don't want you to deliver his package to the wrong address because if you did that Mr Murray might blame me for messing things up and I wouldn't want that to happen because I have only just started working for him and I want to show him that he can trust me to do things properly and I want to keep my job because there aren't many jobs around here. I have not had a good day at the dairy. It is such hard work and there is so much to learn and I do not like working with the great danes especially when I have to milk them because they don't like being milked and they get a bit aggressive and my arms are covered in bite marks now and I can't understand why My Murray doesn't just make cheese from cow milk or sheep milk or goat milk because I think cows and sheep and goats would be a lot easier to deal with. I wish you could make milk from monkeys because they are my favourite animal I like them a lot and I have some monkey pets because they are funny and cute even if they are a bit smelly. I got an especially bad bite this morning when I tried to milk one of the great danes and I was tugging away down there and I was wondering why the milk was taking so long to come out so I tugged even harder and faster to make the milk come like Mr Murray had showed me and the great dane didn't like it at all and it bit me really badly but I carried on tugging and eventually the milk did come out into the milking pail only it turned out that it wasn't milk because I hadn't realised that it was a he dog not a she dog but by the time I realised that it was too late to do anything about it and the stuff went into the milking pail along with the milk from all the bitches and I didn't want to waste the milk so it all went into today's batch of cheese and I am just hoping that it will be OK. Do you know anything about making cheese Mr Lolpole or do you know anyone who does because there are lots of things I am not sure about here at the dairy and I don't want to keep bothering Mr Murray with all my questions while he is in hospital. Anyway I will pass on your message to Mr Murray this evening and I will give him your best wishes and I will give him best wishes from all the people in your office and I am sure that will help him feel better. Thanking you, Beaker From: Robinson Lolpold To: Beaker Subject: ALRIGHT MY BEST REGARDS TO MR GILBERT MURRAY Sent: Sat, 11 Apr 2026 11:56 Alright dear Mr Beaker. I have heard what you said about Mr Murray That He Doesn't Have Any Availability Cell phone To Reached Out To Him Through WhatsApp. Good No Problem. Do Also Asked Him For Any Valid Government ID CARD. If There is None at All No Problem. My Consign is to make a successful delivery, am only requesting his identity ID card due to it's also followed our rules and regulations, but as matters of fact no phone or no identity government id, I will make a move and get your package delivered on 13th And Arrived on 14th, No problems I Will Be Sending Him All Documents Ownership Of This Funds Through Here, if that will be okay for you. Please I Don't Know Anything About Your Works Okay That Reason I Don't Talk Much Due To I Don't Have Experience On That Again Am Busy And Always Busy with my works. Kindly Reconfirm This Address if is correct because I am very much sure that Mr Gilbert Murray Sent Me His Details Address. So confirm it again from me now if it's correspond. Home Address: Hemlock Cottage, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK. Nearest Airport: Midlands. Confirmed on your next email to avoid wrong delivery because I know this was exactly address Mr Murray sent to me on our previous message. Sincerely Regards, Mr Robinson Lolpold From: Beaker To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: MR MURRAY WANTS YOU TO DELIVER HIS CASH NOT A CARD OR A CHEQUE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT Sent: Mon, 13 Apr 2026 08:04 Hello Mr Lolpole, This is not Mr Murray it is me Beaker again. I saw Mr Murray in hospital on Friday night and he is still very poorly and he is still on very strong painkillers and they are making him a bit mad and a bit angry I think it is like he doesn't really know what is going on and I know that feeling sometimes especially when I forget to take my medication. Anyway I passed on your best wishes and I told Mr Murray what you have told me and he said he was a bit confused or maybe you were a bit confused because he said that he wants you to deliver that package containing his cash to him not a card or a cheque or anything like that just the cash that is in his package so I told him I would tell you that and I hope that is OK so just deliver the cash and not a card or some cheques. And Mr Murray said that delivering the cash on the 14th is fine and you have the right address because that is the address of the dairy at Mr Murray's house because the dairy is at the back of the house and I will make sure I am at the dairy all day to take delivery so you don't need to worry about there not being anybody there because I will be there and tell the delivery driver to come round the back and not to come to the front door because that is where I will be and there is a big sign saying Murray's Bitch Cheese over the door of the outbuilding at the back of the house where the dairy is so the delivery driver can't miss it. I have had a really bad weekend at the dairy because one of the great danes escaped on Saturday while I was milking it and it got into the room where we make the cheese and I was running after it with a broom trying to catch it and it went crazy and it was running all round the dairy and then it jumped into the vat where we make cheese and it took me ages to lift it out and it bit me lots and it did a poo in the milk and it left some dog hair in there too and it took me ages to get it all out well I did my best and I think I got most of it out anyway and it will probably be OK. It took me ages to clean up after the dog because as it ran around the dairy with me chasing it it was pooing and weeing all the time because I think it was scared and I have done my best but I'm not sure it's up to Mr Murray's standards because he is super-clean and I think he might be a bit obsessive compulsive when it comes to cleaning because he keeps going on about it every time I see him. Anyway I am sorry to keep going on about things here but it is very stressful for me and I don't think I like this job and I don't know how happy Mr Murray will be when he gets out of hospital because the cheese I have been making is a different colour to his cheese because some of it is a bit brown and some of it is a bit green and it smells even worse than the cheese he normally makes so I think I might start looking for another job. Do you have any jobs going as a delivery driver Mr Lolpole because I can drive and I even have a van a nice blue one that I got off the RSPCA a couple of months ago so I could fit parcels in it and I am a good worker and I think being a delivery driver would be easier than making cheese. Anyway I look forward to getting Mr Murray's parcel from you tomorrow. Thanking you, Beaker From: Robinson Lolpold To: Beaker Subject: DELIVERY START NOW 13/04/2026 Delivery Tracking Number #852222000G Sent: Mon, 13 Apr 2026 23:03 Okay Dear Friend Barker. I Re Read All Your Messages And I So Well Understand All You Said. For Your Information as this delivery has been mandatory to ship today and delivered tomorrow. What we have for you Is an ATM Master Card from our Head office here in chase bank of America. So we have already mandated to ship for you an ATM Master Card. So below attachment is the DHL Courier ownership document certificate for your parcel is on the image, and the copy scanned of your ATM Master Card, which is what I am attaching to you through this my last message. For your better information and understanding there is no way we will get this delivery cancelled after diverting this funds to an ATM master card, so we are so sorry what we will deliver to Mr Murray Is An ATM Master okay, let him know earlier and the delivery probably proceed with me today and arrival on 14th by 13:45 PM. Once More I don't have much time to write a lot of messages but trust me I already did read all your messages and all Mr Murray's Business is Turning Around? Am so sorry dear friend Beaker But You Have No Option Until Your Agreement With You and Mr Murray Get Done with the help of Mr Murray I think after getting his funds ATM Master Card delivered tomorrow we will walk towards to where he is at hospital and I will know how to help you with my own support to encourage you to keep it up been good with your work it hasn't been easy for anywhere I swear. Seen you tomorrow as I arrived. Once the owner got his ATM Master Card which is Mr Murray, then our head office will contact him on his email and send him the ATM card pin number separate, for security purposes no one has access on your ATM master card accept you, that why it has to be our head office is who will send you the ATM card pin code to enable you access the ATM card. PLEASE REMEMBER TO SHOW MR MURRAY THE DHL OWNERSHIP DOCUMENTS CERTIFICATE APPROVED BY DHL AND HIS COPY SCANNED OF HIS ATM Master Card, For Security Purposes, That Why I Do Send You Everything About This Compensation. Thanks. Sincerely Regards, Mr Robinson Lolpold     From: Beaker To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: BUT MR MURRAY WANTS YOU TO DELIVER HIS CASH NOT A CARD Sent: Tue, 14 Apr 2026 10:36 Hello Mr Lolpole, This is not Mr Murray it is me Beaker again not Barker like you wrote the only barkers around here are Mr Murray's great danes and I don't think that Mr Murray will be very happy with you because I told you that Mr Murray wanted you to deliver his cash to him but you say you are delivering a card to him and that means you must have opened his package which was addressed to him and that doesn't seem right. And why did you send me two pictures of two different cards? Which one is Mr Murray's card? The one with his name on is a Visa card but you said you were sending him a Master Card so is it the other card but if it is the other card then why have you got a Visa card with Mr Murray's name on it? I saw that you took one of the photos in a Lamborghini. Is that your car Mr Lolpole? I would love a Lamborghini an orange one because they are really fast and cool. I drive a Peugeot van at the moment that I got from an RSPCA man who came round to my house a couple of months ago to check on how I was keeping my monkeys and he told me he was going to take them away and then he hit his head very hard on a big heavy breadboard while he was in my house and it was all a big accident and after that he didn't need the van any more so I kept it and I painted out the RSPCA sign with blue paint and I put the number plates from my old Lada on it and it is a very nice van and it would make a good delivery van if you have any jobs going. Do you have any delivery driver jobs going? You didn't say. Anyway why did you send me that photo of the Bank of America thing? You work for the Chase Bank so what is that all about? And that ownership certificate confused me even more because I thought Mr Murray was getting 3.5 million dollars but that certificate says he is getting 8.5 million dollars so where has the extra 5 million dollars come from? And why does it go on about merchant shipping and vessels and a director of marine? Mr Murray is a cheesemaker not a shipowner so I am very confused about all that. I am very confused about this whole thing to tell you the truth and I don't know what to tell Mr Murray when I visit him in hospital tonight. Anyway I am waiting here in the dairy all day for the delivery and I will visit Mr Murray in hospital tonight so I will be able to take him his card when it is delivered but I don't think he will be happy that he is getting a card and not his money because he wanted the money and not a card. When I am at the hospital I will see if I can ask a doctor or a nurse to take a look at my arms because some of the dog bites don't look good I think they have gone septic and infected because my arms are all swollen up and there is nasty looking green pus seeping out of the bites and it is hard to stop it from getting into the cheese when I put my arms in the vat to stir the cheese and cut the curd. I don't think I really like being a dairymaid much but I am doing my best to keep things going for Mr Murray while he is in hospital because he is a nice man. Thanking you, Beaker Click here to read the full story of how Beaker came to be in possession of an RSPCA van. From: Robinson Lolpold To: Beaker Subject: AM AT AIRPORT RIGHT NOW, I NEED YOUR URGENT REPLY Sent: Tue, 14 Apr 2026 22:41 Thank you my Dear friend Baker. I am doing my job, okay And I Must Compliment You For Asking Me All Those Questions And For The Fact That Mr Murray Already Told Me Things About You, I Must Say That I am Sincerely To You And Honest Truth With You, Okay I Just Arrived AT EAST MIDLANDS AIRPORT RIGHT NOW. AND I HAVE TO REPRESENT THE EAST MIDLANDS AIRPORT, YOUR OWNERSHIP DOCUMENTARY CERTIFICATE FILE TO THEM, TO SIGN, AND THEY SAID TO SIGN THE DOCUMENT WILL COST £5000.00 ONLY, AND RIGHT NOW I HAVE ALREADY HANDED THEM THE DOCUMENTS, PRESENTLY WHAT HOLDS ME HERE IS THE FEE, NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS, TO ENABLE ME PROBABLY GET MR MURRAY HOME, TODAY. I HAVE A LOT TO EXPLAIN TO MR MURRAY ONCE I GET TO HIS HOUSE, SO DO GO GET IN TOUCH WITH HIM IN THE HOSPITAL ASAP, OKAY, YOU CAN CALL THE AIRPORT CUSTOMS WITH THIS CELL PHONE NUMBER TO USE IT TO CONFIRMED, WHAT AM PASSING THROUGH HERE, AM WAITING FOR YOUR IMMEDIATELY RESPOND. +44 7501 2xxxxx THANKS. SINCERELY REGARDS, MR ROBINSON LOLPOLD From: Beaker To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: THIS IS ALL VERY CONFUSING Sent: Wed, 15 Apr 2026 08:21 Hello Mr Lolpole, This is not Mr Murray it is me Beaker again not Baker like you wrote there is a baker in the village and I go there every lunchtime to buy bread because she has really nice baps but I am not a baker I am a cheesemaker only probably not a very good one. I read the email that you sent me from the airport and I am very confused even more confused than yesterday because you didn't answer any of my questions like is Mr Murray getting 3.5 million dollars or 8.5 million dollars and why did you send me pictures of two different cards and what does the director of marine have to do with anything and now you are at the airport and why are you at the airport because you said you are based in this country so why didn't you just drive here yesterday and deliver Mr Murray's card or better still the money especially if the airport is asking you for £5000 to sign that document and I've seen the document and it looks like it has already been signed so what are they on about and what has it got to do with them anyway and if they want to sign the document why can't you just give them a pen and let them do it? What do they need £5000 for? And why didn't you deliver the money or the card yesterday like you said you would? I waited in all day for you even all the way through the evening until ten o'clock at night just in case you turned up late but you didn't so I didn't get chance to visit Mr Murray in hospital because I was waiting for you and when I got home my monkeys were really hungry because I had been out so late. None of this makes any sense to me Mr Lolpole it is all very confusing and I don't like it when I get confused because it makes me jumpy and it sometimes makes me a bit angry and sometimes I do things I go on to regret so I think I need to calm down and take some more of my medication because that helps sometimes. At least being at the dairy all day yesterday gave me time to clean things up a bit more after that dog got out so Mr Murray should be pleased about that. I also took the time to turn the cheeses which Mr Murray said I had to do but I'm a bit confused about the cheeses too because some of them are supposed to be great danish blue cheeses and some of them are supposed to be not blue cheeses but they all seem to be going blue where I've touched them even the white cheeses and you can see my handprints on all of them picked out in blue and green mould so I don't know what's going on there but I think it should be OK. I will be going to see Mr Murray in the hospital again tonight so I will tell him everything you have told me if I can remember it all because there is such a lot to remember and see what he has to say. Because I don't have £5000 although Mr Murray might have £5000 I don't know. I can't go to see him earlier today because he is having an operation on one of his broken bones today because it is not knitting together properly so they are going to have to rebreak it and reset it and that sounds painful so rather him than me. So I will get back to you tomorrow but in the meantime why not just leave that document in the airport and drive here and deliver the card or the money without it? I'm sure Mr Murray won't mind not having the document because it looked like a silly document anyway going on about shipping and marine directors and police stations and things. I think Mr Murray just wants the money not the document. Will I get to meet you when you deliver the money Mr Lolpole? I hope so because maybe then we could have a talk about you giving me a delivery driver job and I can show you my van and you can see how good it would be for making deliveries and I'll bet if it was me delivering this money to Mr Murray I wouldn't have got myself stuck in an airport with someone demanding £5000 from me just to sign a stupid bit of paper no offence. Thanking you, Beaker From: Robinson Lolpold To: Beaker Subject: STILL AT THE AIRPORT AND I AM NOT HAPPY YOU NOT MEETING MR MURRAY YESTERDAY, BEING 14th I ARRIVED HERE YESTERDAY SO PLEASE ACT FAST AM TIRED OF BEING STAYING HERE Sent: Wed, 15 Apr 2026 19:44 Thank you so much my friend Mr Barker, I well noted that you asked me earlier about how much amount Mr Murray supposed received... yes, I Mistakenly told him that he will receive sum of $3.5 Million Dollars. Actually What is On Mr Murray's Ownership Document Certificate Is 8.5 Million Dollars So On Verification We Also Confirmed From The IMF Office And They Reconfirm All Your Information And Check Out There Documentary File, It's Wrote Down That Mr Murray Is Receiving Sum Of $8.5 Million USD. So I was the one making mistakes so sorry if you misunderstood me and got confused. Right now as you said that Mr Murray Doesn't Needed The Document To Be Sign YES That What He Needed is Just The ATM Card Right (Yes) But Listen The Approval Documents Of This Funds That Demands To Pay The Only Sum Of £5000.00 pounds is to ensure that GOVERNMENT DO Confirm that your Qualify And Equal TO The Tax. So is very necessary. So please I want you to go to the hospital and discuss with Mr Murray on how to make the payment because that £5,000 is the only fee that holds your ATM card here in the airport please you have to act fast because without me getting the £5,000 I cannot get out of here in this airport and they say that this £5,000 is only fee that I have to pay so that I will get this funds delivered. You have to tell mr Murray so that I don't want to stay here up to Friday if I stay here up to Friday without the £5,000 be sent to the Airport I will definitely back back and go to my home, I did not expect to the ladies transaction This delivery and very much tired I want you to go to the hospital and explain everything to Mr Murray. So that I will get out of this airport and delivered this ATM okay. Thanks for your best understanding and your good consign. Sincerely Regards, Mr Robinson Lolpold From: Robinson Lolpold To: Beaker Subject: GOOD MORNING DEAR PLEASE PAY TO THIS BANK ACCOUNT Sent: Thu, 16 Apr 2026 07:35 YOU CAN MAKE THIS £5000.00 payment to this provider bank account and if you sent the money please send me payment recipient photo so I can show them the payment proved after that I will take drive to Mr Murray Home.
Sincerely Regards, Mr Robinson Lolpold From: Beaker To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: WHY ARE YOU STILL AT THE AIRPORT? Sent: Thu, 16 Apr 2026 08:37 Hello Mr Lolpole, This is not Mr Murray it is me Beaker again. I can't believe you are still at the airport. I still can't understand why you went to the airport in the first place and why you didn't just drive up here and deliver the card in person but what are you doing there? You're like Tom Hanks in that film where he draws a face on a football and makes friends with it on an island or was that the other one? Why did you do that Mr Lolpole because in going to the airport you have made things really complicated. Why didn't you just drive up here? Are you new to this job? Anyway I know you have tried to explain why Mr Murray needs to pay you £5,000 but it doesn't make any sense to me. Have you been spending your time at the airport in the duty free shop because it sounds like it from what you wrote. Anyway I will explain to Mr Murray when I see him in hospital tonight that he does have to pay £5,000 "to ensure that GOVERNMENT DO Confirm that your Qualify And Equal TO The Tax" whatever that means and I can only hope that it will make sense to Mr Murray because it certainly doesn't to me. I don't drink because alcohol doesn't mix well with my medication and if I drink alcohol it has a really bad effect on me and I go a bit mad anyway I think you should watch how much you buy from the duty free shop and maybe start drinking some soft drinks like fruit juice or water instead because then maybe your emails would make more sense and that would be good. And you still haven't told me if you have any delivery driver jobs going. Please let me know because I think I would be a very good delivery driver and I even think I would make a better job of it than you Mr Lolpole because I would drive everywhere in my van to do my deliveries to make sure that I didn't get stuck in an airport for days at a time like you have done no offence. I saw Mr Murray in the hospital last night and he was not very well after his operation and he was in a lot of pain despite the strong painkillers and he was a bit woozy too but I think he understood what I said and he was happy to hear that he will be getting 8.5 million dollars not 3.5 million dollars and he said well think of all the cheese I can make with that but he was not happy when he heard that he would have to pay five thousand pounds to get the money and he was very unsure about what to do because he said that he has just about enough money in his savings so he could use that if he really has to although he would have to be sure of getting the 8.5 million dollars very soon afterwards because if he uses all of his savings to pay this fee then that will be all the money that he has and he won't be able to pay his bills or his mortgage. Well now that you have given me details of how to pay the fee I will go to see Mr Murray tonight in hospital and I will tell him what you said and I will see what he wants to do and then I will get back to you. I can't go to the hospital until tonight because today the local council is sending an environmental health officer round for their annual inspection of the dairy today and I wish Mr Murray was here and I wish it wasn't happening now because he is much better at keeping the place clean than I am even though I have done my best and I just hope that the environmental health officer thinks that things are OK because if not Mr Murray might be angry with me. Thanking you, Beaker From: Robinson Lolpold To: Beaker Subject: Immediately Mr Murray send the £5000 you should send me the payment receipt Sent: Thu, 16 Apr 2026 14:25 Okay Dear Friend Barker, I don't employ workers either it's was our office director manager employed worker but unfortunately we don't have delivery job at the moment, but I promise I will looks for good job for you. My very best greetings to Mr Murray told him that am waiting for him to send the £5000 to this very bank account so that I will get out of here in this airport. Thanks and below is the bank account details information used it for the payment:
Sincerely Regards, Mr Robinson Lolpold From: Beaker To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: MR MURRAY WANTS YOU TO KNOW WHY YOU WANT HIM TO TRANSFER MONEY TO SOME COMPLETE STRANGER'S BANK ACCOUNT Sent: Fri, 17 Apr 2026 08:25 Hello Mr Lolpole, This is not Mr Murray it is me Beaker again. I saw Mr Murray last night in the hospital and I did my best to explain everything to him and he is not very happy about having to pay you five thousand pounds but he said he will do it if there is no alternative but Mr Murray is asking why you have asked him to pay money to some complete stranger's personal bank account and not to a company's bank account so could you explain that please because he says it is a lot of money and he wants to be careful because five thousand pounds is all the money he has and he can't afford anything to go wrong. So please explain to me why you have asked Mr Murray to pay money into this person's bank account and then I can explain it to Mr Murray when I see him in hospital tonight. I had a very bad day yesterday when the environmental health officer from the local council visited. He spent ages going over the whole dairy with a fine toothcomb as he put it although it looked to me like he was using a pen and a clipboard not a toothcomb and what is a toothcomb anyway I've never combed my teeth that sounds like madness to me but anyway he asked me lots of questions that I couldn't answer and he made lots of notes and he made a lot of tut-tutting noises as he made his notes and then when he had finished he told me that he had found 27 serious violations of environmental health regulations and 36 minor violations and he gave me a big load of paper with details of everything he had found and he said that he'd never seen anywhere in such a bad state as this dairy and it was so bad that he was going to shut down the dairy immediately and that it would have to stay shut until we fixed everything that needed fixing and he said that we needed to throw away all of our cheeses because he thought they were rotten. I got very worried because I thought Mr Murray would blame all this on me and I tried to explain that I was doing my best while Mr Murray was in hospital and I tried to explain that the cheeses weren't rotten they were supposed to be blue or at least some of them were but he wouldn't listen and that made me frustrated and then I got angry and it's not good when I get angry and I thought I can't let him close this place down because Mr Murray would be very angry too and I would lose my job and I because I was so angry and frustrated I picked up a wooden cheese ladle and I hit him with it because I couldn't stop myself and then I hit him again and again and I kept on hitting him with the ladle because I find it really difficult to control myself when I get angry and when I managed to calm myself down a bit and stopped hitting him I was a bit surprised when I looked down and saw what I had done because I really didn't mean to but I couldn't stop myself because I was so angry. I had to work out what to do quickly so I have put him in Mr Murray's big chest freezer for now and I took his car keys and I drove his car to the other end of the village and I left it there because I didn't want it parked outside the dairy and I am just hoping that everything will be OK and I will not tell Mr Murray about any of this because I don't want to worry him and I will work out what to do properly next week. I will be away this weekend Mr Lolpole because I am going to a Chuckle Brothers convention. Do you like the Chuckle Brothers Mr Lolpole they are brilliant and really funny although I think one of them is dead now and they are my favourite comedians and I love that routine they did to me to you to me to you and I wish they were still on TV and that one of them wasn't dead. I was going to ask one of Mr Murray's neighbours to look after the dogs for the weekend but after what happened yesterday I am not sure that is such a good idea so instead I will just leave out lots of food and water for the dogs and hope they will be OK. I will be back late on Sunday night so I should be able to get back to you on Monday and I hope you have a good weekend Mr Lolpole and hopefully we can get everything sorted early next week because Mr Murray said last night that he was getting sick and tired of these delays and I can't blame him because I am getting sick and tired of them too. Thanking you, Beaker From: Beaker To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: WHAT IS GOING ON AND WHY HAVE YOU NOT GOT BACK TO ME? Sent: Mon, 20 Apr 2026 08:43 Hello Mr Lolpole, This is not Mr Murray it is me Beaker again and I got back from the Chuckle Brothers convention last night and it was brilliant and I got a Chuckle Brothers t shirt and I got a Chuckle Brothers baseball cap and I got a Chuckle Brothers pen and I got to listen to a talk by some man called Melvyn Bragg called "To Me, To You: Dialectics, Duality, and the Chucklean Sublime" and I got to listen to another talk by some man called Will Self called "Ladder, Load, Lack: Repetition Compulsion and the Chuckle Paradigm in a Culture of Managed Infantilism" and they were kind of interesting but not very funny but never mind you can't have everything. Anyway I got back here to the dairy and I found that things were OK although some of the cheeses I have made don't smell too good and the dogs were a bit short of food and water and they were desperate to be milked but I managed to sort that out and they seem to be very happy with what I managed to find them in the freezer once I had chopped it into bite sized chunks and defrosted it so everything is OK here now. But you have still not got back to me with an explanation of why you want Mr Murray to transfer money to that man so could you get back to me today and explain that so that I can explain it to Mr Murray when I see him at the hospital tonight and hopefully we can get things moving and get Mr Murray his money by the end of the week at the latest. Thanking you, Beaker From: Gilbert Murray To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: Apologies for my recent unavailability Sent: Tue, 21 Apr 2026 08:31 Dear Mr Lolpold, Please allow me to apologise for my recent unavailability. I believe my dairymaid, Beaker, explained to you that I had a serious skiing accident, and had to spend some considerable time in hospital. Thankfully I was able to return home late last night. It will be a good few months before I am fully mobile again, but it is good to be back. Or at least it would have been good to be back, had Beaker not made such a complete hash of looking after things in my absence. I cannot begin to describe the situation I found when I ventured into the dairy. Chaos. Utter chaos. The only positive I can find is that he seems to have come across an excellent source of fresh meat from somewhere for the dogs. Great Danes can be picky eaters, but they obviously love getting their teeth into this stuff. Anyway, now that I am back, I am sure that I will be able to get things back on track. Noel only knows how I am going to be able to sell some of the cheese that Beaker has produced in my absence though. Are you by any chance partial to dairy produce with a bit of a kick? But to business. Beaker has tried to explain to me what is going on, but he made as good a job at explaining things as he made at running the dairy in my absence. He kept on wittering on about you having got stuck in an airport and needing five thousand pounds to get a piece of paper signed. I must confess that I found the whole thing very difficult to follow. Perhaps you can make a better fist of explaining the current situation to me. I would appreciate it if you could get back to me and let me know what date I can expect my package to be delivered. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Robinson Lolpold To: Gilbert Murray Subject: AM BACK MY Friend Gilbert Murray Sent: Thu, 07 May 2026 07:16 Okay my friend Mr Murray thank you for your recent apologies right now I'm at home and tomorrow morning I'm going to get your ATM card delivered to you if you can get back to me when you are going to get the £5,000 paid right now reason why I get out of the airport is because I got news that my only daughter Jessica was in the hospital seek so I have to rush home and make sure that I take care of my daughter that's that reason why I'm not online so I must say sorry I'm so sorry for being offline without messaging you texting you to let you know what happened and we'll say sorry I apologize please I will need you to pay attention and let me know when you can get this £5,000 paid for us to get your Atmos account delivered because I still keep you ATM card at the airport so I'm not silence because you know get if he paid I'm silent because to my country and make sure that I take good care of my daughter okay I want you to understand me I'm a man of God and also man of wisdom OK. Right now if you are going to get all the £5,000 paid we have two options to get us the fee paid through Apple Gift card or through bitcoin so that as soon as we got the fee received I can get your funds delivered successfully okay so please pardon my silent. Am sorry and I want you to understand my reasons of silence. Thanks. Sincerely Regards, Mr Robinson Lolpold from United States Washington DC From: Gilbert Murray To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: I am relieved to hear from you Sent: Thu, 07 May 2026 08:54 Dear Mr Lolpold, I am relieved to hear from you after such a long absence. I assumed that you had died - perhaps having succumbed to the ill effects of imbibing too many strong spirits that you had purchased from the airport's duty-free shop. I must say, Beaker left me with a very poor impression of your behaviour during my absence. He told me that you had dangled the prospect of a delivery driver's job in front of him, only to let him down dreadfully in the end by telling him that there were actually no vacancies. The poor man is feeling extremely morose about the whole thing. As a result of that, I must tell you that Beaker's feelings towards you are somewhat negative right now. You might have noticed that in some of the more recent emails he sent you. I must say, Mr Lolpold, I am none too happy about this whole delivery driver affair myself: what on earth were you thinking, trying to lure away my employee? And at a time when I needed him the most, as well. It was most unthoughtful of you. Still, to business. I am extremely sorry to hear the bad news about your daughter. What exactly happened to her? Is she still in the hospital? I trust that her condition has improved? Now what are you doing in Washington DC? You said in your email that you had to rush home... but I distinctly remember you telling me that you were based in the United Kingdom. Where exactly do you live? I am most confused. You will no doubt be pleased to hear that I have managed to sort out most of the issues that arose in the dairy during my absence. A thorough regime of cleaning has got the place looking spick and span again. The only trouble is, I have been left with a large stockpile of what I hesitate to call cheese that Beaker made while I was incapacitated, which I fear is essentially unsellable. I will need to find a way to get it off my hands quickly: the stench of it is somewhat overpowering. Now then, could you please explain to me exactly how you are going to get my package delivered to me? Enough of this nonsense about an ATM card; I would like the actual, physical cash delivered to me, and as quickly as possible. Kindly see to it. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Robinson Lolpold To: Gilbert Murray Subject: YES I WAITED TO HEAR FROM YOU Sent: Thu, 07 May 2026 13:23 Okay dear friend Mr Gilbert Murray??? I am from United State of America working under Chase Bank of America. My Only Daughter Jessica is Leaving With My Family Friend Going To School in Washington DC. Thanks for your message my daughter illness has improved better, she is now at home at Washington DC United States. Okay right now I waited for your email as I am at the airport with your ATM Master Card, Which is What we had for you, What holds this delivery to get to your house address is only the £5000.00 pounds only. As soon as you got paid this five thousand pounds your ATM master card will probably get over to your home. So kindly get back to us in a means you will paid us the £5000.
We do accept Apple Gift card, or through bitcoin for easy payment. Let me know how you will get the payment for us so that you will get your ATM master card and our office will send you the ATM pin number for you to start making withdrawal of your money in your ATM master card okay. Thanks and God bless You. Sincerely Appreciate your kindness, Mr Lolpold Robinson From: Gilbert Murray To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: I am confused Sent: Thu, 07 May 2026 13:48 Dear Mr Lolpold, Hang on, are you telling me that you are now back at the airport? It was only this morning that you told me you were at home in Washington DC. How on earth have you managed to get yourself to East Midlands Airport so quickly? And why have you made your way back there? Did the lure of the duty-free shop prove to be too great for you to ignore? And what is all this about you delivering an ATM card to me? I don't want you to deliver an ATM card to me, Mr Lolpold; I want you to deliver my package to me. You know: the one containing 3.5 million dollars in cash. Or perhaps 8.5 million dollars - I am still not sure which. Perhaps you could clarify the exact amount for me. Any why are you demanding five thousand pounds from me? Beaker mentioned this to me while I was in hospital, but I thought he was joking. I simply do not understand why you need such a large sum of money to me. Perhaps you could explain that too? Beaker was not wrong when he told me that dealing with you was confusing, Mr Lolpold. Every email I receive from you seems to confuse things further. I would very much appreciate it if you could explain exactly what is going on here, Mr Lolpold. And let us set a date for the delivery of my package - NOT an ATM card. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. I am relieved to hear that your daughter is feeling better and is now out of hospital. Please pass on my best regards to her. Please also pass on Beaker's best regards to her. Beaker has also asked me to ask you how old your daughter is. From: Robinson Lolpold To: Gilbert Murray Subject: Don't be confused here is my last explanation Sent: Thu, 07 May 2026 19:54 I told you reason I do not get in touch with you is due to I was contacted by my manager team work, that my daughter is sick and she is at hospital since over 18th April 2026, so I travel back to Washington DC and went over to see her. How today being 7th MAY, I personally apologise for late response and late delivery. The delivery documents fee is going to cost you £5000 pounds only kindly let me know how much you had to pay for this delivery of your ATM master card worth sum of $8.5 million dollars which is on the ATM card to be delivered to you. The ATM card is what we have to you. If you cannot pay to receive this ATM card then update us to cancel this delivery and obligated that you are not interested. So kindly get back to me. My daughter is 18yrs this may 13th she will clocked 18. Okay so let me Beaker know how old my daughter is... because she still a kid. Thanks for your understanding and acknowledgement. Sincerely appreciate your efforts and support. Kindly let us know if you ain't interested we will back off and I will fly back to my country. Give me your WhatsApp number let me message you directly with my phone WhatsApp number. Thanks. And update us how much you had if you ain't going to afford the total amount of five thousand pounds okay. Sincerely Regards, Mr Lolpold Robinson From: Gilbert Murray To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: Paying your fee Sent: Fri, 08 May 2026 13:37 Dear Mr Lolpold, Thank you for getting back to me and for explaining things so well, in your usual clear and precise manner. I think I now understand. Loathe as I am to pay such a large fee as the one you are requesting - what precisely is the fee for, may I ask? - I can see that it will be worth it in the end if it means that I will be 8.5 million dollars better off. And disappointed as I am to be receiving the money in the form of a plastic card rather than in cold, hard cash, I can see that it will save me the hassle of standing and waiting at the counter in the bank while the cashier counts it all when I pay it in. So, let us move forward Mr Lolpold. There is one small problem. My recent stay in hospital has affected the cashflow of my business over the past few weeks and, having paid a number of suppliers last week, I find myself somewhat short of cash. I do not have £5,000 to hand to pay your fee; I have just a touch over £3,500 available in cash. Would you be willing for me to pay the shortfall - £1,500 - in kind? Specifically, would you accept the £1,500 payment in the form of dairy produce? This would help me out, as it happens: I have been wondering what to do with the cheeses that Beaker made in my absence. If I could offload them onto you in lieu of a cash payment, I would be saved the trouble of trying to sell them myself, and you would be in the happy position of being in possession of a large number of truckles of Great Danish Blue, which I am sure would go down well in the US market - I gather there is a growing interest in artisan produce in your country at the moment. And trust me, these cheeses are extremely artisanal. They are quite unlike any cheese that has ever been made before. Please let me know if this will be acceptable to you. If so, I will arrange to transfer the £3,500 to that bank account you sent details of to Beaker the other week, and I will arrange for Beaker to sweep out the back of his van, load it up with the cheeses, and deliver them to you at the airport. Obviously, you will need to arrange the air freight back to the US yourself, but I trust that will not be a problem. Oh, and a word of advice: I would advise you to sell the cheeses on as soon as possible. I have a feeling that these cheeses will not improve with age. Quite the reverse, if the stench they are giving off at the moment is anything to go by. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. Beaker's eyes opened wide when he heard that your daughter was nearly 18. He has asked me to enquire whether she would be interested in corresponding with an older English gentleman such as himself. "A man of the world" as he puts it. I would appreciate it if you could pass on the message to Jessica and let me know her response. From: Robinson Lolpold To: Gilbert Murray Subject: USE THIS BANK ACCOUNT FOR THE £1500 HALF PAYMENT Sent: Fri, 08 May 2026 19:41 Alright Dear Friend Mr Murray Gilbert????? Well Noted And Understand Your Thoughts. Yes if you can get this £1500 today on this account, you can receive your payment in less than an hour of getting us this half of this payment £1500. Then as soon as you received your ATM master card then you can withdraw from the ATM matchine near your place and pay the remaining £3500 okay if this would be okay for you then we will accept this £1500. You can send this payment on this beneficiary bank account below and as soon as possible you send this £1500 kindly send me the photos transfering payment recipient for confirmation thanks.
No problem I will do informed my daughter what Mr Beaker Said, he must be so funny. But anyway I will let my daughter know so soon. Kindly get back to me in return on when you will do send this payment so I will notify the airport customs officers. Sincerely Regards, Mr Lolpold Robinson From: Gilbert Murray To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: Paying your fee Sent: Sat, 09 May 2026 09:06 Dear Mr Lolpold, I am afraid you have confused me even more. Firstly you told me that you needed £5,000, and now you are telling me you only need £1,500. Which is it? And what exactly is this fee for? You still haven't explained that to me. Also, please clarify whether you would prefer the fee to be paid by bank transfer or in the form of cheese truckles. Get back to me as soon as you can, and I will make arrangements for your fee to be paid - one way or another - on Monday. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. Is there any response from your delightful daughter? Beaker is extremely anxious to know. He has asked me to enquire from you whether she has an email address that he could use to contact her directly, and what her favourite perfume is. From: Robinson Lolpold To: Gilbert Murray Subject: MY LAST MESSAGE KINDLY READ WELL TO UNDERSTAND VERY WELL Sent: Sat, 09 May 2026 20:34 What are you talking about? Mr Murray Gilbert??? You needed to pay this fee completed which the requested fee was only £5000.00 and your previous email before given you account, you stated that you can afford to pay half of this fee that you only had £1500 that if is by okay by me then I should informed you so that you can get us this fee paid in last account I forwarded to your worker Beaker So I followed up your instructions and gave you account where to paid the required fee. So right now you have to pay the fee in (3) way or the other that will be easy for you. Which is getting us this fee through Apple Gift card. Or you can do pay the fee through Bitcoin. Or by Bank To Bank payment. Or would you prefer sending the payment through Western Union office or MoneyGram office. The choice is yours I have gave you many payments options to choose. This payment is for the delivery fee And also unqualified proper unclaimed and also the yellow tag certificate which the East Midlands Airport Required. The total fee is £5000. This is only fee you have to pay to received your Package from Us. Failure to get us the fee paid from today being Saturday 9/05/2026 till Monday morning Being 11/05/2026 I will definitely back off and Go Home, Then The Delivery Of your winnings Funds Will CANCEL And Declined. So Dear Mr Gilbert Murray, Am a man of God And Also Understanding Human Being. As A Nature of Things if you do check out, you would know that I have been patient and patient and patient all this while am always explaining things to your best understanding, but if failure to pay this fee I will not do anything than letting our office manager team to do the needful and declined and cancelled your funds so please think twice am sincere and honest truth with you, so let you get back to us in the easy way to get us this fee paid without any delaying. Help me talk to My friend Beaker Told Him that as matters of fact, once I Arrived to your destination address, we both will definitely discuss a lot, okay this moment is not delaying or questioning And Answer Moment, please once more thank you for your best acknowledgement. Thanks. Best wishes, Mr Lolpold Robinson CHASE BANK From: Gilbert Murray To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: I shall instruct Beaker to transfer the fee to you today Sent: Mon, 11 May 2026 08:40 Dear Mr Lolpold, Thank you for getting back to me. I must apologise if I have found it difficult to understand things recently: I am still on very strong painkillers after my recent accident, and they make my head a tad woozy. I think I understand things more clearly now though, and your clear and lucid explanation is much appreciated. You gave me a range of options for paying your fee. As I do not understand Bitcoin and as it is not currently apple season, I think the easiest way for me to do it would be a direct bank transfer. I trust that this will be acceptable. As it happens, Beaker is heading into Lincoln this morning to sell our cheeses at a local farmers' market. I shall ask him to pop into the bank at lunchtime and transfer the fee to you. I am hoping that he will be able to offload some of the - what I hesitate to call - "cheese" that he made while I was in hospital. If we offer it at a bargain price - and provided nobody asks to try a sample before purchasing - I think we should be able to get rid of a fair bit of it. I am also hoping that being on the market stall all day will snap Beaker out of his current malaise. He has spent all weekend wondering round in a daze, fiddling around in his trouser pockets in a most nauseating manner, and murmuring "Jessica". Have you spoken to your daughter about the prospect of corresponding with Beaker? Please do let me know - Beaker is extremely distracted at the moment and it is seriously affecting his work. I wish you a pleasant day at the airport. Beaker will not be returning until late this afternoon. I will send you a copy of the transfer receipt either tonight or tomorrow morning. Then hopefully we can bring an end to this interminable business. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Robinson Lolpold To: Gilbert Murray Subject: OKAY SEND THE FEE TO BELOW BANK INFORMATION, AND SEND THE PAYMENT RECIPIENT PHOTO Sent: Mon, 11 May 2026 21:37 Alright My friend Mr Murray Gilbert!!! I Well Appreciate And So Much Well Happy To Proceed With The Delivery, As Soon As Possible You Paid This Fee. I Will Also Be Happy To Make a Successful Delivery To Your Home, My Important concern is To Have a Successful Delivery So I Am Happy For Us To Get This Transaction Done, My Greetings To Your Worker Beaker, My Daughter Will Speak With Him On Phone Once I Arrived To Your House, Because I Do Not Called Her To Tell Her About Anybody's Conversation, But Once I Arrived At Your Home She Will Speak With Mr Beaker, I Waited To Hear From You With The Payment Picture, As Soon As The Money Has Been Sent, Forwarded Me The Recipient Photo. Here is The Same Bank details information Where The Fee Will Be Paid, Okay.
Sincerely Appreciate, Mr Lolpold Robinson From: Gilbert Murray To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: Beaker has transferred the fee to you Sent: Tue, 12 May 2026 08:20 Dear Mr Lolpold, You will be pleased to hear that Beaker has transferred the fee to you, using the bank account details you provided me with. I have attached a copy of the payment receipt to this email, as you requested. I must apologise for the less than pristine appearance of the receipt, by the way. I believe I may have mentioned Beaker's somewhat questionable standards of hygiene to you previously. I am not convinced that he always washes his hands after visiting the lavatory - or for that matter that he ever does - and he did mention to me that the public toilets in Lincoln had run out of paper when he visited them yesterday. Anyway, now that you have your fee, could you please let me know when I can expect to have the Master Card delivered to me? Presumably I can expect a knock on the door later today, provided you pull your socks up and get things moving in a timely manner. Please give me an idea of what time I can expect to see you, and I will instruct Beaker to put the kettle on and prepare some cheese and crackers so that we can celebrate my good fortune together. It will be a good chance to use up some of the cheese that Beaker made while I was away. He didn't manage to sell much of it yesterday in Lincoln, and most of what he did manage to sell was apparently returned to the stall later in the day by angry customers, demanding refunds. I am at a bit of a loss to know what to do with it all. If you would like to take a few truckles back with you, you would be most welcome. Anyway, get back to me as soon as you can, and I look forward to seeing you later. Best regards, Gilbert Murray PS. Do you have any news on the fragrant Jessica for me to pass on to Beaker? He is desperate to hear from her, and has asked if you could send him her vital statistics.  From: Beaker To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: A MESSAGE FOR YOUR LOVELY DAUGHTER JESSICA Sent: Tue, 12 May 2026 12:42 Hello Mr Lolpole, It is me Beaker Mr Murray's dairymaid. I am writing to you because Mr Murray told me about your lovely daughter Jessica and he said that she wanted to speak to me and I do not have your daughter's email address so I thought that if I write to you then you can pass my email to Jessica and you can ask her to email me back and then we can start emailing each other and we can get to know each other and that will be nice. So here is my email for you to pass on to your lovely daughter Jessica.
So could you please send my email to your daughter Mr Lolpole and I hope she will write back to me and I promise you I will treat her well and if things go well I will make you proud to have me as a son in law. Thanking you, Beaker From: Robinson Lolpold To: Gilbert Murray Subject: PAYMENT UNDER CONFIRMATION MR MURRAY GILBERT, THANK YOU Sent: Tue, 12 May 2026 22:49 Dear Mr Murray Gilbert, I am happy the payment has been Sent By You so it's indeed under confirmation, As Soon As Possible They Confirmed That Your Transfer Went Through, Then I Will Probably Proceed with the delivery of your ATM master card, okay. So I may says to you clearly if they confirmed this payment today or tomorrow morning, I will definitely start coming up to your home the same tomorrow maybe afternoon or evening tomorrow. Hoping they will get back to me once they receive the money you send okay. Thanks and God bless you. Soon get back to you with good news. Sincerely Regards, Mr Lolpold Robinson From: Gilbert Murray To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: I was disappointed not to have seen you yesterday Sent: Wed, 13 May 2026 08:38 Dear Mr Lolpold, I have to say, I was disappointed not to have seen you yesterday. I had presumed that as soon as I had transferred the fee to you, you would have been making your way here with all speed to deliver my money. If nothing else, surely you are growing tired of sitting around in the airport for all this time, twiddling your thumbs? Beaker was extremely disappointed too. In anticipation of meeting you ("my future father-in-law", as he puts it), he had gone to the trouble of baking a cake. He was most disheartened when you did not show up, having waited for you all day. I can only hope that the cake has retained some degree of freshness when eventually do show your face. Although I would not get my hopes up if I were you; it wasn't looking all that fresh yesterday, and he had only baked it the night before. Having said that, it was perhaps a good thing that you did not show up yesterday: we had a surprise visit from the police yesterday afternoon. They are investigating the recent disappearance of an Environmental Health Officer. Apparently his call logs show that he was due to visit my premises a couple of weeks ago - when I was in hospital - but Beaker assured the police constable that he never showed up. Beaker was even more distracted than usual after the policeman's visit. I can only put this down to the goings-on between him and your daughter. He tells me that he is trying to woo her and that he sent a poem to her yesterday, but that he has not yet heard back from her. He seems to be spending most of his time now staring distractedly into space while fiddling around non-stop in his trouser pockets. Apart from it being extremely nauseating to watch, all this business with your daughter is starting to affect Beaker's work. Is there any chance you could ask your daughter to respond to Beaker, Mr Lolpold? I think that if he were to receive a positive sign from her, it might help him to start concentrating on his job again. I must get to work. I hope to see you - with my money - later today. Best regards, Gilbert Murray From: Robinson Lolpold To: Gilbert Murray Subject: TODAY YOU WILL SURELY SEEN ME AS SOON AS THE PAYMENT YOU SENT WAS CONFIRMED, OKAY Sent: Wed, 13 May 2026 10:50 My dear friend Mr Murray Gilbert, I waited for the payment to be confirmed to the receiving bank account so that I can probably get to your home today surely Okay. Forget about Beaker I hope as soon as we definitely meet he will do like my daughter conversation. My daughter wouldn't be happy to deal and communicate with Beaker without me seen you presently so we waited to confirm this payment for successfully happy ending. Okay. Thanks and God Bless you. Sincerely Regards, Mr Robinson Lolpold From: Beaker To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: ANOTHER POEM FOR YOUR LOVELY DAUGHTER JESSICA Sent: Wed, 13 May 2026 13:52 Hello Mr Lolpole, It is me Beaker Mr Murray's dairymaid again. I have written another poem for your lovely daughter Jessica so could you pass it on to her please? I have not heard back from her yet so maybe this poem will help to show her the depths of my feelings.
Thank you for passing the poem on Mr Lolpole I look forward to seeing you soon and I baked you a cake so you can have some when you deliver Mr Murray's money to him and I hope you like it and maybe you can take a slice home to give to your lovely daughter Jessica and I hope I will hear from her soon because I think I love her. Thanking you, Beaker From: Robinson Lolpold To: Beaker Subject: BEAUTIFUL POEM Sent: Wed, 13 May 2026 20:35 Beautiful poem. She will speak with you as soon as the payment Mr Murray sent to us went successfully then you can deal with her on the moment I am with you so be calm my friend and let Mr Murray know that this payment he sent says that it will takes up to 3 days to reflect okay. So I will be happy to deal with you as soon as this payment went successfully in our bank account then I will definitely get to Mr Murray Gilbert house okay. Thanks. I am busy man and I have a lot of works at hand so that is why I haven't got time to told you the kind of person my daughter is so keep calm until I get Mr Murray home in 3 days time once this payment gets confirmed OKAY. Sincerely Regards, Mr Lolpold Robinson From: Gilbert Murray To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: Where are you? Where is my money? Sent: Thu, 14 May 2026 07:34 Mr Lolpold, What are you playing at? Where are you? Where is my money? Another day spent waiting for you to arrive. Another day wasted. What on earth are you doing at the airport? Kindly get your act together, Mr Lolpold. I want my money and I want it now. I have waited long enough. I expect you to deliver it to me today. What is more, Beaker's cake is going rancid. If you delay things any longer, it will be completely spoiled. I shall be waiting in for you today. Do not disappoint me, or I shall be contacting your bank's head office and lodging an official complaint. Gilbert Murray From: Gilbert Murray To: Robinson Lolpold Subject: What the blazes is going on here, Mr Lolpold? Sent: Fri, 15 May 2026 07:28 Mr Lolpold, I have just received the following email from the Fraud Prevention Department of my bank:
What the blazes is going on here, Mr Lolpold? Why on earth did you ask me to transfer money to someone who is under active investigation for fraudulent criminal activities? I am aghast, Mr Lolpold. Aghast. By the sound of it, if my bank hadn't been quite so on the ball, I could have lost my money to a gang of fraudsters! What in Noel's name is going on? Explain yourself, Mr Lolpold! Get back to me at once with an explanation of what exactly is going on here. And perhaps you could also come up with an alternative way of me getting your fee to you. Preferably one that doesn't involve me transferring money to a fraudster. My personal preference, as I have stated previously, is to pay your fee in the form of cheese truckles. May I suggest that it is now time for you to reconsider this offer. I am waiting. Gilbert Murray Copyright 2003-2026 www.gilbertmurray.co.uk. All rights reserved. Copyright notice |
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